Tragedy

Yesterday I came home from grocery shopping with Talent and was told by my husband that there had been a shooting at a school in Connecticut. I had not heard anything about it yet. After I got Talent fed and down for a nap I turned on the news. Seth and I sat and watched the horror of what happened in this school. An ELEMENTARY school! I still feel my heart aching over the information that was given to us yesterday by reporters on the news. My heart aches for the parents that dropped their children off at a school that they thought was a safe place. Some place that SHOULD be a safe place for them. Those little lives that were lost....those families, friends, & that whole community....it seems so unreal. It terrifies me to see that these shootings are happening more often at places that should be safe. Malls, hospitals, schools, & places of worship....is nothing safe?

I was talking to my husband yesterday about all of the problems in this country. I realize that by writing this I am probably going to offend some people. For that I apologize. This country was once a Christian nation. We once allowed God in our schools. People had Christian morals. I have heard several times over the last two days, "Why are we seeing more of these shootings?" ... my answer is this--- We have turned our once God fearing country into a country that lives according to the world. We have allowed ourselves to get so far away from Christianity that people don't know how to live anymore. We live in a world full of sin. Full of things that my Bible tells me is wrong. What we as a nation are doing wrong is, forgetting where we came from. Turning our back on God. We need him now more than ever.

I also think that the media is to blame for a lot of this. We sensationalize everything now. Honestly, can you tell me one victim's name from the OKC bombing? How about the Columbine or Virginia Tech shootings? Aurora, Colorado? What about the shooting from Connecticut? I know I can't. But I can tell you who did those despicable things. Because the media takes that information and runs with it. They put it all over everything-- websites, newscasts, and newspapers. All of the other crazies out there see those things and take it as a challenge to one up the last one. To become famous. Because hard work and dedication to school doesn't get you the instant fame you see with this. But the media is making all of these crazy people famous. It is sickening. I know people are twisted. I realize that.

I also realize we are all curious about what is going on around us. But we don't need to know every last detail. We don't need to know how many times or where these kids were shot. We don't need to know what those children saw and heard. We don't need to know. It isn't going to do anyone any good by giving those details away. I've seen one sound bite by accident of a child telling what they saw or heard.....I have no idea how those parents felt okay with letting their baby talk to the media wolves. Seeing it made me sick. I have a friend with a 6 year old. He has the biggest heart in the world. I can't imagine him giving an interview. He wouldn't even fully understand what had happened. So why do reporters think it's okay to even ASK a parent to let them talk to a child? I realize the media is just doing a job...but sometimes, protecting innocence should be more important.

All of this isn't meant to upset anyone. I don't mean to come across rude or insensitive. All of this just makes me take a long look at my own life. Re-prioritize a few things. I want to make sure to take the time to do the fun and important things. Like taking Talent to see Christmas lights. Playing hide and seek with him until he is just too tired to play anymore. Spend time making memories with my husband. Have date nights. Cook his favorites....hot wings, fried steak, and spicy pretzels. Make time to do things that I wouldn't normally do because "I'm too busy" for whatever reason.

I think our country needs a change. I think the change has to come from us as a nation, though. We've grown so far away from our roots. And we've planted ourself somewhere so far away from where we started.....it makes me sad. As a Christian, I look at this world and I'm scared for my child. What we are today, it isn't good. This nation was once something to be very proud of. Now it seems every day shows a new reason to be afraid.

Let your loved ones know how much you love them. Cherish every second you have with them.

Year 2

I'm a few days late on this. On December 7th two years ago, my Daddy had neck surgery. After his surgery he had a heart attack. He had emergency surgery to place two stints and repair and remove blockage in his heart. The last two years have been an up and down roller coaster of doctors visits but he's doing so well. I'm thankful that I still have him. So glad he is around to be in my sweet baby boys life. So I just wanted to say thank you to God. Thank you for placing your loving hands on my Daddy and keeping him safe. Thank you for having him in a place with incredible doctors who knew what they were doing. Thank you.

Day 30

The last day of the 30 day challenge.....

The last 30 days have flown by. For the 30th day I'd like to say I'm thankful for two people that I barely know in "real life".....

What I mean by that is one of these people I've never met and the other I've met in person once. So here goes...first ones first.

Mary Morrow. My talented photographer friend. I met Mary years ago via Myspace when I stumbled across her page looking at photography. She has a photography business about an hour and a half away from me. It is my dream to have my family photographed by her. I've been talking to Mary for a long time. She is one of the sweetest people I've ever met. She's encouraging, loving, and so kind. When I am feeling overwhelmed about Talent's allergies, she's encouraging. She prays for me, she encourages me. She is just the sweetest person. I'm thankful to have known her all these years. I am determined to meet her in person some day. She's pretty stinkin' awesome!

Larissa Lou Holquin..... Oh my, Larissa. I met Larissa through Mary. I am a part of a marriage prayer group that Mary used to lead. Larissa took over. I emailed her a few times after she took over the group and told her how much I loved her emails and that she was doing a great job. We became "Facebook friends" and talked on there every once in a while. She's silly and fun. She loves college football and OU. She's an absolute doll. Oh and she's kinda a prankster. Larissa and I actually had the chance to meet in person once. She and "hottie" (her husband, Eric...who she only calls "hottie") went to an OU basketball game and Seth and I were there too. We facebooked each other where our seats were and we actually got to see each other in person! We actually weren't sitting too far from each other either! Now we talk more often, follow each other on Twitter and Pinterest, and I couldn't imagine not having her in my life. She's pretty amazing.

Both of these girls are prayer warriors. They pray with me and for me. They are great friends and I am truly blessed to have them in my life.

Day 29

My gosh. Thirty days has flown by. I can't believe there is only one day left. Today I guess I'd like to say I'm thankful for the material things I have that make my life exciting and enjoyable. It may seem shallow but I am thankful for many material things. So here's a small list of things I cherish most.

My iPod, without it my world would have no music and it would be so empty. My Kindle, it keeps me entertained when my husband is in a sports zone and I want to be in the same room. Photoshop, without it my creative juices would sit and spoil. My keurig, some mornings it is the only thing that gets me going. My car gets me where I need to go. And lastly my home. It is where we live and make the best memories.

These material things are just a few of the many things that I'm thankful for. They make my life easier. They aren't everything to me but I am thankful to have them.

Day 28

New friends. I am not an easy person to get to know. I put up walls and don't let many people in because I've been hurt too many times. But every once in a while I open up that door and let someone in. I did that recently. I'm happy to say, I think it was a good decision. So today I'm thankful for my new friend and I look forward to the days of getting to know each other. Lunch dates, shopping dates, and nights or days where just get the chance to talk and let our babies play.

Day 27

Road trips! Yesterday we took a short road trip to Walters to return a trailer that Seth had borrowed. Walters is about an hour and a half from where we live. The road we had to drive down was one I traveled when I was in my early twenties. It brought back some great memories of past road trips with my sweet friend, Ashley. I love taking road trips and making those memories. Road trips with family are a little different than road trips were with Ash. But, I love them. I'm thankful for those times together and the memories we make.

Day 26

A few years ago the 26th was Thanksgiving. My Uncle Paul was in the hospital. I was spending the holiday with my husbands family that year. Right before our lunch started I received a call from my Mom saying they were going to OKC because my uncle had taken a turn for the worse and things didn't look good.

My Uncle Paul passed away that day. It was a day I will never forget. The world lost a great man. I lost a big part of my world. I'm thankful that I had as much time as I did with him. I am thankful I was able to make as many memories as I did. That I was able to hear as many of his wild "Thompson Tales" as I did. I will never forget his deep southern voice. Or how it took him thirty five minutes to tell a five minute story. I'm so thankful for the time I had with him. Heaven definitely gained an angel with him.

Day 25

Oklahoma. The Sooner Nation. Yesterday was our Bedlam Football game and our Sooners won. I'm thankful for that victory! I know to most that seems so silly to be thankful for. And yes, maybe it is a little silly. But here in my house, we live football and basketball. It is all that's on our tv this time of year. This last year I've been invited to fill out a basketball bracket for the March Madness playoffs and I came in 2nd. I was also invited to play college pick'em for the first time and I'm currently ahead of my brother in law & husband. I'm a girl who grew up in the city lights. Not watching any sports at all. And here I am today coming in second and also Beating guys that eat, sleep, & breath sports?? I am loving this new part of life. Yes I may still pick like a girl (who has the better team color/mascot) but I'm enjoying this. I'm thankful for the new found love of sports.

So until next years bedlam game.....BOOMER SOONER!

Day 24

So I have two little cousins. I am quite certain they are my clones. I call them my "mini me's" because they act a lot like me. At times it is downright scary. The older they get, the worse it gets.

Today I am thankful for one Miss Bethany Paige and one Miss Madison Noel. You two girls make me so proud. You are so fun and loving and strong. I know you read my blog and will see this. Your attitudes make me laugh because you remind me of myself at your age. So stubborn.

I have to say, this post is going to be different. I want you both to know, I love you. I wish more than anything you girls lived here or at least within driving distance so we could hang more than a week during the summer. You keep me on my toes. You make life an adventure and even though sometimes you make me a little crazy.....I wouldn't trade you for the world. I hope you know how much you are loved. Now and always. You are my mini's. I'm proud of you.

Day 23

Today I'm thankful for my friend, Jennifer. Jennifer and I have known each other for over ten years. We've been through so much together. She was my friend before I was married so she was part of my life during some of my worst relationships. I have been with her through some of her toughest moments too.

Jenn and I haven't always seen eye to eye on everything. We haven't always been in constant contact. But we have always had the type of relationship where we could just pick up where we left off. No matter how long we ever went without talking. Everything always seemed the same with us.

My Jenny is one of the strongest women I know. She doesn't always see the strength that I see. But it's there. She's funny and sweet. She's a great friend. I'm so glad we met. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have her. There have been days when I've just needed her and she has said, "Come by my office. I'm here.." And I have gone and hugged her and my world was a little better than before. I love my Jennifer. She's one of the best friends I've ever had. I can talk to her about anything. And I can trust her with anything. She's golden in my book. A true friend an a rare find.

Day 22

Happy Thanksgiving! Today I'm thankful for time with family. Our time was cut a little short today because Talent has been sick. But we were able to spend an hour with each of our families today. It was so wonderful to have the time with them. So that is my thankful for today. Time. Time to be with the ones you love the most and make memories. I hope everyone else had a wonderful day and made beautiful memories with the ones you love!

Day 21

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. With that brings so many emotions for me. The last Thanksgiving I had before I got married was also the last one we had with my Pawpaw. Thanksgiving reminds me of his last visit with us. I can remember waking up an coming into the living room to watch the parade like I do every year. The look on my parents faces said it all. Pawpaw had been up for hours telling them stories about people they didn't know and who had probably been long gone for years. They were basically playing a game of tag....and I was suddenly "it". It didn't matter. I watched the parade and let him babble. I will never forget that Thanksgiving.

My Pawpaw Bazil was a great man. He was the first paid fireman in Mineral Wells. He used to buy us a fire truck for Christmas every year when we were little and he'd stick his picture in the window of the drivers side. He built his own fire trick. We always got to climb on it when we visited him at the station. He had a love for chocolate covered cherries and this time of year I always buy a box and eat them in his honor. He loved country music. Thought my Momma couldn't make biscuits to save her life. And he always knew how to make us smile. He was a great man.

I'm so thankful for all of the time I did have with him. I'm thankful that I will have these memories for my lifetime. I'm glad I can share his legacy with Talent. I'm thankful I had such a wonderful grandpa.

So, Pawpaw Bazil....here's to you. I'm thankful I ever had you. My Daddy is so much like you. I'm thankful that you were such a good influence on him. I'm thankful that you were mine. I love you forever.

Day 20

Last night Seth and I had a rare chance to watch a movie together. This doesn't happen often but I love when it does. I enjoy the one on one time with him.

Last night we rented the Expendables 2. We are both big Sylvester Stallone fans. So we watch just about anything he's in.

I love times like this. When we get to have time together. That's something I'm thankful for.

Day 17,18,&19

Okay so I missed a few days. We had my nephews birthday party on Saturday, church yesterday, and well, today has just been busy.

I have thought about what I was thankful for over the last few days and wanted to just write about one thing. It's a really big thing.

I'm writing today about God. I serve this amazing God that provides what I need. Since I've been staying at home with Talent things have been hard at times. Money gets tight sometimes. It causes stress. But I've always seen that God has provided a way. He has made it possible for us to have what we need.

I have some friends that aren't believers. I have never pushed my beliefs on them. I hope that they see through my actions what God does for my life. I'm thankful that I have a relationship with him. I'm thankful that when I need guidance all I have to do is pray. I am glad I have a relationship with God. I'm glad I've met people along the way that pray with & for me. So that's my big thankful. God.

Day 16

Today I was able to pet a pig! If you know me well, you know this made my entire year! I have a bit of a love for farm animals and want to have cows, a horse, a donkey, a pig, and a duck. I have cows...and I'd settle for just adding a donkey. But today we went to have lunch with Seth's dad. He told us about the pig show going on in town. After we finished lunch, Seth took us to the fairgrounds to see what we could see. I saw a ton of pigs, big, little, and all sizes in between! I was able to sweet talk a young man into letting me pet one of his baby pigs. I'm sure he thought I was crazy. But it totally made my year.

I write all of this about the pigs because today my thankful post is about what my in laws bring into my life.

My father in law has invited us to go on several trips to really awesome places. I've been to DC and so to Yellowstone. They have taken us to a Ranger game. And we always have such a good time. What I'm trying to say is, my in laws have introduced me to so many wonderful places and wonderful things. My father in law knows a little bit about just about everything and he's always teaching me something. He is one of the greatest men I've ever known and I'm blessed to have a father in law as wonderful as him.

My mother in law has taken me in and treated me like part of the family. I try and treat her as well as I would want someone to treat my Mom. My mother in law is one of the most fun ladies is ever met. She has a history that is quite colorful. She's done so many interesting things in her life. I know there have been times when I've had so much going on and she has been there for me. She's a great lady. Very full of life.

I'm very blessed to have such wonderful in laws. I was reminded today just how wonderful they are. They help us when we least expect it. They teach us new things an love us. I'm thankful.

Day 15

My friend, Elizabeth. Where do I even start. She's a friend like no other I've ever had. She loves my kid like he were we own blood. She treats me like I'm family. She has helped me to grow into a better person. I've know Elizabeth since I was about 16 or 17. We've been through so much together. Births, marriages, a divorce, and a lot of growth. She is someone I consider a role model. A really great one. The world would be a better place if more people could follow her lead.

I see how she has taken a family that is divorced and made it into this amazing thing. She loves her ex husbands children. She babysits them. She has a relationship with them. I watch how she interacts with them and I see a woman full of grace and love. Yes, there were moments in the beginning when things weren't so easy. But to see them all now, you'd be amazed. You'd be as in awe at the beauty of how she handles things. If the rest f the world followed her lead, I truly believe this world would be a much better place.

Liz is one of my most "grown up" friends. What I mean by that is that she listens to me when I call her with a problem. She doesn't always side with me. She makes me think about things in a different way. She gives me another view point and makes me stop my way of thinking and reevaluate the situation. Really think about what I'm saying and makes me open my mind up. I love that about her.

To say that Liz is a great friend is an understatement. Over the years our bond has gotten stronger. She has been there for so much. She remains a constant in my life and I love her. So today I'm very thankful for Elizabeth. Without her I wouldn't be where I am. She is one of those friends that makes me be a better person.

Day 14

Today is a special day. My best friend's baby girl turns one today! So happy birthday, Kaitlyn Elizabeth! You were one of the biggest and greatest surprises ever!

Since it's Kaitlyn's birthday I thought today would be the perfect day to say how thankful I am for Kaitlyn and her two brothers, Alex and Logan. Years ago when Alex was about two and Logan was just a baby, Shawna and I became friends. We clicked pretty much instantly and we've been best friends since. I formed a connection to her children. They became my "nephews" and last year when Kaitlyn was born I got to have a "niece"!!!

I love these children with everything I have. I love them as if they were my own blood. When they struggle or have things they need help with, I try hard I help find ways to fix the problem or help them with whatever they are struggling with.

Alex has a delay called Apraxia of speech and also Apraxia of limb. It makes things a little harder for him. But I research often and try to find things to send to Shawna to help him. I've joined groups to learn more about Apraxia. I read about it so that if there is something that comes up and Shawna needs help or an idea that is kinda out of the box, maybe I can help. I would do anything I could to help him. He is one of the smartest and most determined (almost) eight year olds I've ever met. He's pretty amazing.

Logan is this fun and very imaginative little boy. He has a personality that truly reminds me of myself. I am always laughing at things he says. I will never forget the time he saw a larger man in the store who had on a short that showed his belly. He asked why the guy didn't buy a bigger shirt because no one wanted to see that. Ad then he makes the comments we all want to make to the boy sagging his pants at the grocery store. He just cracks me up. There is never a dull moment with him around. He loved wearing costumes. He loves to encourage his big brother. He's the sweetest and most loving child ever. To live in Logan's world for even a day would make the whole world a much better place.

Miss Kaitlyn is this loud and fun little girl. She's got those two big brothers wrapped around her fingers. She is fun and a big ball of energy. Always going and always smiling. She is so sweet and so friendly. I can't wait to see what her personality develops into.

These kids are just the sweetest kids I've ever come across. Respectful and well mannered. They are happy and loving. I'm so glad I get to be part of their lives.

Day 13

I'm thankful for my grandparents. I have the two most wonderful grandparents that ever walked the face of this earth. They have taught me how to live a Christian life. They have taught me how to be a giving and loving person. They have taught me so very much. I love them with my whole entire heart. I know most people my age are very lucky to still have any grandparents. I'm blessed to have two. They are the greatest two a person could ask for. I have so many memories with my Mammaw and Pawpaw. And I'm very thankful that Talent will have memories with them too. They are the best. I'm glad I have them. I'm glad I don't have to share often because I'm not good at it. I don't know what I would do without them. All I know is I love them.

Day 12

Well Veteran's Day and the Marine Corps birthday was this weekend. I have had several Vet's that I love pass on. I'm thankful that they lived and served. I have one Veteran and Marine that is currently serving in Virginia that I'm very proud to call a friend. It's my husbands best friend, Michael.

When Michael and I met for the very first time, I was less than impressed. He was loud and obnoxious. At times he could be quite crude. But I've now known him for almost 10 years. And if you know me at all, you know that once you're a friend I'm loyal to the core. Michael and I have become friends. He comes home to see us once or twice a year. He and Seth spend the whole day fishing or hunting hogs out on his families land. Then they come here and I cook dinner for them...every night he's home....or close to it. Michael is Seth's best friend. He and Seth have been friends since they were about six or seven years old. They are like brothers. I'm glad we have Michael in our lives. He is the only friend of Seth's that I know isn't going anywhere. He's a good guy. I'm thankful that my husband has such a great friend and that I've made a friend too.

Day 11

I'm thankful for my farm. I say farm and use that term quite loosely. We have 31 acres and 8 cows. In the spring there will be at least three more born.

Growing up I never imagined living out in the country. I was a city girl. I hate mud and all things that get you dirty. But something about it out here has really grown on me. It's quiet out here at night. You can see the stars at night. It's peaceful. I've really grown to love my country life. I can't even imagine having to live in town now.

Being out here you have room to breathe and space to think. And somedays I need that. So today that's what I'm most thankful for.

Day 10

Today I'm thankful for my sweet dogs. Tonight as Talent was playing he kept running over to Redick and petting him or collapsing on his back in a fit of giggles. Do you know what Redick did? He raised his head and looked at Talent and then laid back down. Like he knew that Talent was just wanting to love on him and that this is now his life.

Between my two dogs I have to say I'm very blessed. They love my kid and protect us. Seth works a crazy schedule and isn't always home when the sun goes down. These two dogs make me feel safe. I know as long as I have them no one is coming through our front door and leaving without holes in them from one of my dogs or my gun. I feel protected. I feel safe. And on days that are bad, I feel very loved. These two crazy dogs are a part of our family. We love them.

So today is for Riley & Redick. My two fur babies. I'm glad I have them. I would t trade them for the world.

Day 9

Today I'm thankful for my sweet boy. I'm thankful for him every single day of his sweet little life. I begged and pleaded for this child. My husband wasn't so sold on the idea of kids.

After five years of marriage we finally decided we would give this a shot. It took what felt like forever to get pregnant. It took over a year and there were a lot of tears and a lot of pregnancy tests that (at least in my mind) flipped me off and laughed at me. Me being a person who likes to be in control, this venture was one of the hardest. I wanted a baby.

When I finally found out I was pregnant it was the best day. I was excited and nervous. It was a rough pregnancy filled with nine very long months of morning sickness. Finally the day arrived when Talent was born. That day was filled with so many emotions. I remember after I had him I didn't get to see him or hold him right away. I did get testy with a nurse about it and they finally brought him to me. Seth had been awake for over 30 hours. I had been in labor for 22. I ended up having a c section and it made it to where I needed help and meds to be able to function the first day or two. Seth got to hold him and hand him to me. He then went to sleep and I stayed awake holding this precious little life that I'd been carrying inside me for 9 months. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. I didn't want to go to sleep but finally the meds took over and I had to.

Waking up each day to Talent's sweet face and him hollering "Mom" from his crib is something I will cherish always. Yes, some mornings when it's five and I'm so tired I think to myself "kid please sleep!" But I still love when I walk in the room and see his face light up and hear his happy little voice greet me. And when he buries his head in my chest before I can even pick him up because he wants to hug me tight, oh it melts my heart. This kid is so sweet. Always wanting to give me hugs or needing to hold my hand when we eat dinner or watch The Wiggles. I'm thankful that he's so sweet and loving. I'm thankful I have him in my life. He makes me a better person. I love being a mom. But most of all, I love being Talent's mom.

Day 8

Today I'm thankful for the people in my child's life that give me the answers that calm my heart.

This past week had been a rough one with lots of hives and a bit of wheezing. Talent was allergy tested in July and we received a list of things he is allergic to. A few of them he can have in moderation, a few we've never seen a single sign of an allergy, and then there are at least two that are very severe. His severe allergies scare me the worst. Peanuts and soy are his most severe allergies. This week he had reactions after several different things he ate and we just couldn't pinpoint what the cause was. I had called his doctor last week because he had hives and he was put on an oral steroid for a few days. This week we ended up in urgent med and then at his ENT's office. They finally have decided we can do more testing on the blood sample they took in July. I was happy to find out they keep his blood on file in a fancy lab somewhere just for situations like this. Yesterday at urgent med I felt very dismissed. Like nothing I said was even heard. They wanted my money and nothing else. Today at the ENT I actually felt validated. Dr. Kati listened to me and looked at as many pictures of my hive covered baby as I wanted to show her. She never made me feel rushed. She took the time to calm my fears and help me feel less frustrated.

Today is not the first time I've been calmed by one of Talent's caregivers. His regular doctor is just as wonderful. Last week when Talent was broke out in hives I called his office and left a message for a nurse. I was later told she didn't have time to call in an RX for him and that I needed to make an appointment. Well being a Monday I understood that the chances of me getting him in were pretty slim so I emailed his doctor directly. Within 20 minutes Dr. Herndon called me. He asked what was going on and told me he would call him in a steroid. And about 10 minutes later I was able to pick it up at the pharmacy. Dr. Herndon has been my doctor for 31 years. He delivered me. He has always been so easy for me to talk to. And now that I'm a parent there is no one else I trust to care for my child.

Between Talent's ENT and his regular doctor, I'm pretty blessed. You don't find doctors that have the time to listen to you anymore. Most of them are in such a hurry that they have forgotten why they are doing the job they do. These two of Talent's are pretty amazing. I'm thankful to have found them. I'm thankful that they are able to answer all of my paranoid mommy questions and calm all of my mommy fears.

Day 7

Have you ever seen "Bride Wars"? The two main characters in the movie are the very best of friends. They can't go one day without talking. They are so close. They feel lost without each other. Try can pretty much feel the others emotions like a freaky twin thing even though they aren't related. They bring out the best in each other and are there to fill in the gaps where the other has weaknesses. Liv & Emma are pretty much my best friend and me.

Shawna and I have known each other for years. We weren't always best friends though. I was friends with her brother in high school. After high school and college, we reconnected. We discovered we had a connection that is so unique. It has been tested over the years by distance, people, silence, babies, and so much more. But we've weathered every storm.

Shawna has been a constant in my life for over 7 years. She and I may have had moments in the past where we didn't talk often. We have even had moments where we didn't like each other a whole lot. But we have always found our way back together. We've always found a way to work things out. I'm thankful for that.

Shawna and I are best friends. Our relationship is a weird one that most people will never understand. We don't live in the same town. We see each other a handful of times a year. We talk maybe once or twice a week on a good week. We email every single day. But somehow when one of us needs the other we just feel it. Deep in our hearts it nags us and we have to call and hear the others voice.

I can't put into words today just how thankful I am to have my "Emma girl", Shawna. Although our relationship takes work at times, I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. I am glad we have worked through our ups and downs and stayed as close as we have. So Shawna as you read this, know you are very loved. I'm proud to have you as my best friend. Love you!

Day 6

Today is Election Day. I've voted in every major election since I turned 18. It was the first big girl thing I did after turning 18. I registered the day I turned 18. I don't smoke so going out and being able to buy cigs wasn't a fancy fun thing to do. But voting, that right there just always sparked something in me. Being able to participate in a decision that was so much bigger than myself. Over the years I've voted for some great presidents and other offices that were up for election at the time. I remember watching the John Kerry & Bush debates. I hated John Kerry with every fiber of my being. I remember being so glad I had a right to vote that year. Unlike most people I loved (and still do) George W. Bush. Something about him was relatable. He seemed human. He made mistakes and didn't speak perfectly. His past was a little sketchy. He had faults. Just like the rest of America. The current president and his opponent.....I personally don't like either of them. This time voting was a challenge. Trying to pick the lesser of the two evils was a hard decision. I like and dislike different things about each of them. Regardless of my lack of enthusiasm for the candidates today, I'm thankful I had the right to vote. I'm thankful to have been able to get up and get out there to my polling place and let my vote count. I know as a woman, that right isn't one we've always had. It's important that we use those rights when we have the opportunity. So today I'm so very thankful that I have the right to go and vote for our nations leader. It's is something most people don't take very seriously and a lot of people take for granted.

Day 4 & 5

Today I'm going to play catch up. Talent broke out in hives yesterday and was sick so I missed a day. He seems better today so I'm going to try and get caught up on this today.

I'd like to say I'm thankful for my Mom & Daddy. Together they raised me to be a hardworking and gracious individual. They both taught me different things. Dad taught me how to fix stuff, solder, install light fixtures, and what all the tools were in his garage. Mom taught me how to bake, sew(even though I suck at it), be a great mom, and be a nurturer.

I love my parents. They are wonderful people. They have given me all of the tools I needed to be a good parent. All the things I needed to know what to do and how to raise my own child. I couldn't have asked for better examples to follow.

My Mom is my favorite Saturday date. We go and shop and do girl things together. We always have fun. There isn't anything I can't share with her. She's such a great mom and I'm so thankful that she's mine.

My Daddy is my sounding board. Whenever I need someone to just let me vent or be upset or just talk, he's there. He's my comforter when I need someone. He has always been such an amazing Daddy. He was the first love of my life.

I've been blessed beyond what I deserve with them. They are truly amazing and I just hope that they know just how amazing I think they are. So days 4 & 5.....I'm thankful for my awesome parents.

Day 3

Today I am thankful music. Without it my life would feel so empty. I've always said that I'm a music junkie. That music is like oxygen to me. It truly is. Today while on the way to take my grandparents their van back I heard a song on the radio that made me a little teary. It's a song I've heard a million times and today it just hit me a little harder simply because I'm starting the month of November. Sometimes the words I feel in my heart are hard to speak but I can find you a song to say exactly what I need to say. I'm truly thankful for music. I'm glad I get to share the beauty of music with my sweet boy and see his love for it grow. It makes me happy that he already comes to me and asks for the radio to be turned on so he can dance. So that's my thankful for today.

Day 2

Today I'm thankful for my husband. He is the love of my life, best friend, biggest supporter, greatest reality check (when needed), and best father to our child.

Seth and I have been together for almost ten years. We will be married for eight years in May. When we met neither of us were looking for a relationship. Ours just kinda happened. We really seemed to click and never really wanted to see anyone else. I fell very much in love with this green eyed boy that most people said was not a people person. I got to know a side of him that I'm positive not many people have ever seen.

When we had Talent, I think I fell more in love with this man. He was up for over 30 hours while I was in labor. He was tired and worried. Labor was 22 hours long. Things weren't progressing like we were hoping. It was looking more and more like a c section was on the horizon. He stayed right there with me and never left my side. He watched me as I threw up water (because you can't eat or drink anything during labor) every time they laid me down to check me or upped the medicine to start or restart the contractions. He never went running and screaming from the room. He held my hand or a bucket for me. He stayed. He wiped my face. He took care of me. He took care of me in the days following delivery. After the c section and I had to get up and walk. He helped me out of bed and the shower. He even put in a different shower head so I could shower easily. He was amazing and still is. He tries to give me days to sleep in. He takes Talent with him sometimes so I can have a little time to do things I need to do without a little boy screaming "Mom!" the whole time. Seth amazes me every single day.

I'm just thankful to have him. I'm thankful to have found someone in this world that loves me as much as he does. He's a pretty amazing guy. He has his moments where he is stubborn and pigheaded, but, he takes care of me. He loves me. And I'm so glad I have him.

30 days of thankfulness. Day 1

So for the last few years I have been doing 30 days of thankfulness. For those of you that don't know why or how this started I will give you a brief explanation.

A few years ago I was convince that Thursday hated me. The month of November in particular started the thought process that led up to me being convinced of this. I got into a huge fight with the best friend I'd had for 10+ years and she told me she basically hated me. We stopped talking. It happened on a Thursday. Our dog had to be out to sleep because his stomach got twisted and it broke our hearts to make that grown up decision. It happened on a Thursday. Thanksgiving day my sweet Uncle Paul, one of the greatest men I've ever known, passed away. The next day my Grandma Inez died. A few months later a man from my church that I was very close to passed away, and yes, it happened on a Thursday. So much happened in November alone that the next year I decided to help me get through the month without having a breakdown I would try and focus on the positive instead of the sad. So that is why I do this. I still struggle with these losses. Most of them anyway. So today we will kick off this years 30 Days and keep up the tradition. It's a healing process for me. And it helps me to remember to be thankful for the things & people God had blessed me with.

Day 1

Today I am thankful for the people in my life that cater to my child's special allergies. Talent is allergic to many things. Milk, egg whites, soy, wheat, & nuts. He can have everything but nuts in moderation. He absolutely has to stay away from all peanut or tree nut products. We carry an epi pen in case he's ever exposed. It terrifies me to think of him being exposed. He's not old enough to tell me he's having a hard time breathing or anything. So it's scary to me. Last night was Halloween. So you know that means candy and lots of treats. I debated on even letting him celebrate. He's little and doesn't understand. But my two BFF's here wanted to see him. So I decided I'd take him to their houses only. I got a call asking what he could have. They made sure to have safe treats for him. They took the time to get things so he could have treats at their houses too. I know that he will never get to celebrate Halloween like everyone else because I'm going to be way to protective because of his allergies. But I am glad I have friends that want to let him be included and make sure he has safe treats when he comes to their homes. It means so much to me that they care. I'm so fortunate to have such great people in my life. So today, that's what in thankful for.

The Love of my Life....

So today the temperatures in Oklahoma decided to be bipolar again and reach the mid 60's. It's been in the 40's and 50's for a few days now and the mid 60's were nice, but to be honest, I'm ready for the weather to settle on ONE season! So, since it was nice outside, Seth, Talent, and I went outside to play. We threw rocks, chased the dogs, spooked the cows, and played in the sand.

While we were  outside today I had Seth bring me the camera and I took a ton of pictures. I don't remember to do that very often. But today I thought about it and actually took the time to take the pictures. So while we were outside I followed Talent around and took a ton of pictures. When we were out playing on the patio, Seth was sitting on the 4 wheeler while I was taking pictures of Talent. I got up and was joking around with him and making him laugh. I snapped off about 3 or 4 pictures of him while I was making him laugh. When I looked in the camera and saw what I had captured, it took my breath away.

If you know anything about my husband, you know he doesn't like to have his picture taken.....EVER! I have to beg and plead for pictures with or of him. In my opinion, he is the most beautiful man I've ever seen. Something about this picture tonight reminded me of the very first time I ever saw Seth. The first time I saw him was at a party at a friends house. He was all scruffy, with longer hair, and a beard.....something about him caught my attention even then. I didn't see him again or even catch his name until a few months later when I saw him a second time and he had a hair cut and a clean shaved face..... He was even more beautiful. As if that was even possible. I tell him all the time that I hate the beard and that he needs to shave. Truth be told, it reminds me of the first time I ever saw him. It takes me back to 10 years ago.....

So here's a picture of my beautiful husband. The man that I love with my entire heart. Without him, my world would be so empty. He makes me laugh, infuriates me at times, makes me feel safe, loves me unconditionally, is my best friend, always has my back, and truly just makes my life better.

Rain....

So this blog is intended for rainy days. The last three days we've had a LOT of rain. I think today we had over 2 1/2 inches. Rain is a good thing. We've really needed it. So I'm not going to complain. I've taken these rainy days to spend with my Momma, getting my house cleaned up and ready for appraisals. Don't worry we aren't moving. We are trying to get our interest rate fixed & lowered so we are refinancing. So you have to go through hoops and it's a big headache and mess. But, it will all be very worth it once it's done. So I've cleaned house all weekend. I'm tired, my back aches all the way down to my knees. But my house looks nice. I've enjoyed the time with my Momma and my kiddo. It's been a good weekend. I don't often get this much time with my Momma and I really enjoyed it. Sure I talk to her every single day, often 12 times a day, and I see her every other day usually. But we don't get to spend the majority of the day together three days in a row very often. Even though we were cleaning, it was nice. I love that lady. I loved my time with her this weekend and appreciated that she wanted to help and wanted to be here. She's pretty awesome.

Seize the day.

So today I've had a migraine straight from hell itself. One bad enough to make me sick to my stomach. I have been in our dark bedroom since Talent went to bed at 7 watching the trash I recorded on DVR.  I have not even logged in to Facebook until about 10 minutes ago. When I did I saw a friend of mine had posted a "RIP" status and as I paused to read it I realized she was saying a girl I grew up with had passed away. I guess it happened in the last few hours. From what my friend knew about the situation she passed in her sleep. I sat shell shocked re-reading her status a few times. I even went and found the girls Facebook. We had lost touch. You know how life happens. You go to school with these people everyday and once everyone goes their separate ways you lose touch. That s what happened here. We haven't seen each other in years. Although I see her Mom and sister all the time. I guess the reason I'm writing this to it is because I was reminded for the second time in two days that tomorrow isn't guaranteed. No matter your age. So seize the day. Take chances and enjoy every breath. Don't let life pass you by.

You know talking with my friend tonight, I thought back to all the funerals I've attended since graduation. Junior High even. Classmates that didn't make it. I can't even count them on both hands because there are so many. I just don't know why so many are taken so young.  I don't think I will ever understand it. Tonight my heart hurts for the family of this girl that was taken way too soon. I pray for peace for her family, kids, and husband.

Please don't take life for granted. Live and love. Don't be afraid to take chances. You are never promised your next breath.

Defeat.

Well I tried the picture challenge and failed again. It's just too busy with a toddler to devote time to it. It was fun while it lasted though! So yet again I've been defeated by the weekly picture challenge. Maybe someday I will finish it. Ha!

Lately life has been stressful. My world has been busy and full of things that need to be done and it seems the days are shorter and shorter. Talent is growing and harder to entertain solo. He thinks he needs to be right where I am all the time. I love him and love being with him but it's hard to dust and vacuum with him running around dumping things out on the floor behind me. So I stay up after everyone else is in bed and try to get all the laundry, vacuuming, dishes, & dusting done. I feel worn out this week. I've had a summer cold and a bum leg and am just tired from trying to get things done. It will slow down sometime. And I am just trying to enjoy Talent being little because it seems like everyday he is doing something new or outgrowing a favorite outfit. So that's what's going on in our world. I will post again soon.

Week 16,17,&18/52

Well the last three weeks have been hectic and I'm kinda cheating on this one I'm supposed to post a picture of bugs, leaves, & flowers. I have a picture I took several years ago that is still one of my very favorites. So I've chosen to share it again. The caterpillar is a bug in my world. It does turn into a butterfly, right? So here's my last three weeks. I promise to try and do better!

Life, Love, and everything in between!

Tonight I just felt like posting a few photos that I've taken recently. I've got a new camera that I inherited from my parents. It's a fancy Nikon camera with all kinds of features and gadgets. I love it. I have been working at learning how to use it because I would actually like to start my own photography business some day. We'll see if that ever happens. Either way, I'm learning a lot and getting some really great pictures in the mean time. So here are some of my favorite things and some of the pictures I've taken lately. Some I've edited and some I haven't.

My beautiful boy.

Talent playing outside.

Redick wishing I would quit bothering him!

Riley, ignoring me...typical behavior of the men in my house.

Talent decided he needed to lay down with the puppies. It didn't last long but it sure was adorable!

I sure love the cute things that this boy does!

Hiatus

So this week I decided to go on a bit of a Facebook hiatus. I've been seeing so much drama and controversy on there and to be honest it makes me sick. I've kept my mouth shut as long as I can. If I offend people in this post please know it isn't intentional.

First off, let me start by saying this. I am a Christian. I believe that there is a God. I believe Jesus died for my sins and he is coming back some day for me. I believe in Heaven and Hell. How you live decides which one you live in for eternity. I also believe that it isn't my place to judge others. It is God's place. Those that are living in a way that isn't what the Bible says is right will have to answer for their sins just like I will have to answer for mine. We all sin. No one is perfect.

All of that being said, you should also know that I have gay friends. Married gay friends. I don't judge how they live because it isn't my place. I may not agree with their lifestyle choices but I love them anyway. How they choose to live doesn't directly affect me. They don't kiss in front of me or flaunt their relationships. They don't judge me or my heterosexual relationship. And I don't flaunt my relationship in front of them. They've never been hurtful to me because I'm a Christian. They are sweet people. I love them dearly and I believe that's what the God I believe in would want me to do.

This last week I've seen some of the most negative crap on Facebook about Chick Fil A. People are boycotting because they are a Christian based company that doesn't support gay marriage. Well, that is their right. They aren't saying they are going to treat the gay people badly or be mean to them. Last I checked they said they were treating them with the same respect as they would give anyone else. Yet they are being called intolerant, ignorant, and gay bashers. Well, I have yet to see Chick Fil A post anything calling the LGBT community ignorant or anything hateful. Yet I've seen both "Christians" and gays calling each other the most horrible things. All because they don't like the stance the other has taken.

Both sides want to preach tolerance and yet both sides are being equally intolerant. I think it is very sad. I understand the frustrations that the LGBT community must feel towards Christians at times. Some of the things I read in the news about how people are treated makes me ashamed of the people calling themselves Christians. But some of the things I've heard first hand and read this week wouldn't make me proud to be gay either.

I think instead of pointing fingers and name calling everyone should take a step back and treat everyone with the respect they would want to be treated with. You don't have to agree with gay marriage. You don't have to support it. But you shouldn't be hateful to those that do. And you shouldn't be mean or hateful to the men and women that are gay or lesbian and long for the same "status" as a traditional married couple. They are people too. Whether you believe the same you are each entitled to your opinion. Agree to disagree. Be nice. There is no need for all of this hatefulness. I am a believer in traditional marriage. But, I'm not out there condemning people for the way they choose to live. The last time I checked my name was Denisa, not God. I pray for those that I love even if they don't believe the same as I do. I think that's what God would want anyway.

I don't know if I will delete my Facebook account or not. Right now I'm leaning towards it very heavily. Lately it has just added more drama to my world than anything. It isn't worth it.

If I've offended anyone in this post I really do apologize. It isn't my intent. I hate that people are calling each other such awful names. I hate that people are just being so mean to each other. I didn't write this to hurt feelings. I wrote it because I'm so sick of people acting like they have the right to judge each other. They don't. In my opinion there is one judge. We aren't him. Stop judging, pointing fingers, and name calling. Start showing the love of God to one another. You never know who is watching and what kind of an impact your actions may have on someone's life.

Thoughts.

So I'm taking a pass this week on the photo challenge because we've had family here all week. I've baked and taxied people around. I haven't had much time for picture taking. Today I just want to take a minute and write out thoughts I have in my head.

I've been going through some changes the last year or so with friendships. Some have changed so much that they are hardly recognizable. Others have gotten weaker, some have faded, some have stayed as strong as ever, and others are stronger than I ever imagined possible. this week my best friend, Shawna, and I were discussing how it has been a year since we last saw each other. I've blogged about her before. She's my "Bride Wars" BFF. She and I have gone through a lot of changes in our lives in the last year. We both had babies. We both have new schedules. We are just now getting back to where we talk on the phone again. It's been tough. We've missed our friendship. We miss our time together. We wanted to get together this summer but we both know it just isn't possible. She has three sweet babies and this stupid Oklahoma heat is just too much to travel in with them. Her husband worries about car trouble since they live an hour or two away. I understand. It's still so very hard. I haven't even met her newest little one, Kaitlyn. Makes me so sad but I know eventually we will figure out a way to make time for each other again. I'm just afraid it will be right around time Talent starts preschool and then I will be the one who can't travel. At times I feel like this relationship is slipping away. It's one of the most important relationships to me and so I keep working at it. But there are days when it feels like the tighter I hold on the more that sand slips through my fingers. I don't say any of this to make Shawna feel bad or make anyone feel sorry for me. It's just how I feel. I'm a big girl and can handle this. It's just sometimes it is a little hard on my heart. This week it's heavy on my mind. Plans have fallen through yet again and even though I completely understand, part of me wishes I could numb myself to it. Having a best friend that lives far away is hard. You have to work at the relationship. Both of you have to make an effort to call, email, whatever it takes. There are times like this when you really hate those people who have their best friend right next door or in the same town and don't even realize what a great thing they have going. Shawna and I can't just hang out at each others houses whenever. We don't see each other much. We can't share clothes, purses, jewelry....you know the typical stuff you would share with a BFF. It's hard. I miss her today. I've been missing her for a while.

I have other relationships. Other friendships that I cherish and am glad I have. Ones that are here. Ones that are closer to home. Within driving distance. It just isn't the same. Don't get me wrong. The two other friends I consider my bff's in my hometown, I love them very much. I wouldn't want them to read this and think they aren't any good. They are. But right now I'm missing her. It's been too long. My heart feels like its missing a little piece of itself because that piece is in Edmond. Pray that we are able to find a way to get together soon or you will be reading more sappy crap like this from both our blogs I'm afraid. Shawna, I miss ya. Hope you know how much. Love you my sweet Emma girl!

Week 15/52

This week my mission is to post pictures of nature. I live in the country. We have cows, dogs, and tons of critters. I Have said before that I grew up in "the city" and country life is an adjustment. But to be real, I love that at night I can actually hear the crickets and the coyotes. I live to see the stars. I love being reminded of the beauty and wonder that God created for us. And even though I hate all the critters and bugs that we didn't seem to have in "the city", I wouldn't trade country life for anything. So here are some of the pics I have on my phone of the cows and whatever else I think is beautiful in nature. I am even including one or two from our Yellowstone trip. And just as a reminder, look around you. There is something beautiful to be seen no matter where you are. God created something wonderful for us and I think often times we get so caught us in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to appreciate the things he created. So what beautiful things are surrounding you today?

14/52

This week's theme is round. Well I could post so many things for round. But I decided to post a picture of Talent playing at the water table we just bought him. He love is and it makes me happy to watch him play and be so happy! So here is my round item this week! Enjoy the cuteness!

Happy Birthday to.....ME!

Today I turn 31. I am not like most people who hate birthdays and freak about getting older. If you know me you know I LOVE my birthday. To an extent that I can be annoying about it! Well today is no different than any other year. I have gone on strike from the kitchen today. I am not doing laundry. I will not be doing anything that doesn't sound fun. It's MY day.

Today I woke up at 4:30 am to the sound of my phone telling me I had a text message. Usually if my phone goes off at those odd hours it's spam messages and I'm pissed! but this morning it was my sweet Daddy sending me a birthday message. So I read it, responded, and smiled. What a great start to my day! Then at 6:24 my phone went off again. It was my sweet husband this time. Now if you read my blog you know he's usually a stick in the mud. So getting a birthday text from him is a big deal. I got up to get ready. I have a big morning of pampering planned for myself. I walked in to my kitchen and started the new Kuerig he bought me for my birthday and look at our chalk board that I write our menu on and there's another birthday message there! How special do I feel? Such an amazing day already. Then I get online and see a ton of messages on Facebook. And I get a very sweet email from my "Emma". This day is just awesome. My lunch with my grandparents and spending the rest of it with my sweet little family will complete this perfect day. I love my birthday. It's my Mom's fault. She always made it a big deal. I'm glad though. I hope I can make Talent love his birthday like I do mine.

Week 13/52

This week the theme is blue. I decided to take a picture of an early birthday gift I received from my parents. I am always looking for new bags since I am a mom and have to carry SO much crap. I hate carrying a diaper bag now because I don't really need it anymore. Talent eats big people food and doesn't take a bottle. So all I need are a few diapers, some wipes, a bib, and maybe an extra onesie. To me it is totally not worth carrying a diaper bag for. And they are cute anyway. So I find big purses with lots of pockets and use them instead. I can put my stuff and his in it and it's perfect! I've been using my Ed Hardy purse for a while but really wanted something new. So my Mom and I just went to look and I saw this purse hanging there saying "take me home, I am perfect for you". I opened it up and the pockets inside we're exactly what I need for our stuff to all be separated! And it is a GORGEOUS bag! So happy early birthday to me! I am in love with this bag! I could have had it in charcoal gray but this teal blue was so different, I had to have it!

Week 12/52

Hands. This week is a post about hands. Last week I posted a picture of Talent's tiny little toes and this week you get to see his sweet little hands. This little boy has me completely wrapped around his little finger. He probably knows it too. The last week has been a rough one on me for many reasons I care to keep to myself. This little guy and my sweet husband are the ones that keep me going. This week I have gotten to play with my camera a little and was able to capture this very sweet picture of Talent. He was watching The Lion King and you can see his sweet little hands. He's got one thumb in his mouth and he's so focused on the movie. Lion King is his very favorite. I love Talent two guys in my life so much. I am very thankful for them this week. And just for the heck of it, here's and oldie but goodie. It shows how tiny Talent was the very first time Seth held him in his hands. You can tell Talent felt safe there. Seth has a safe feel. I always know when I have him I'm in a safe place. He is my rock and I don't know what in the world I would ever do without him.

Remembering.

Today I came across a news article about a fallen firefighter. I saw the picture before I even saw the heading and I knew what it was about. My heart beat just a little faster, my eyes welled up with tears, and my breath got caught in my throat.

Seven years ago I attended a fireman's funeral. It was for my Pawpaw Bazil. He was one of the sweetest, kindest, bravest men I ever knew. I remember vividly seeing them lift him up onto the back of the fire truck, his fire truck, the one that he built and drove. The one that we all have pictures on and climbed all over as kids. I remember following it with its lights going and the sound of those sirens. I remember the last call they put out on the radio for "Bazil 'Pops' Wright" as we were all at the graveside. I remember it like yesterday. I wore a fire engine red long sleeved shirt, black pants, and big curly Texas hair---because that's what he would have loved. I think about him all the time. I hear sirens and my heart breaks all over again. Seeing the article and reading it today stirred something inside of me that I've been pushing aside for a long time. I miss him. I don't think you ever stop missing people. Sure it gets easier I guess. But there are still days I really miss him. Today reading the article about another fallen fireman, I know how his family feels having been through one of those ceremonies. I can promise you never look at a fire truck the same way agin.

I am not saying any of this so any of you feel sorry or are worried about me. I just need to have it off my mind. Let it out there that I miss my Pawpaw Bazil. He was a great man. Someone I wish my husband had gotten to know. I wish Talent had gotten to meet him. Someday in Heaven they will have a lot of fun together. But for now I have a lot of stories to tell Talent about him.

Week 11/52

Feet!
This week I'm supposed to write and post about feet. If you know me you know I think feet are gross. Well, except for tiny little baby feet! My sweet boy has the sweetest little baby toes on the planet! I just snuck into his room while he was napping to take a picture of his tiny (well not as tiny anymore) toes for you! He is never still enough to get pictures of them when he's awake! He walks all over the place so feet pics are near impossible! I never thought I would love feet. I never thought I would touch feet or kiss little toes but this little boy has the most kissable feet I've ever seen. Not much about him that I don't love. He's pretty amazing if I do say so myself. Anyway, here's the picture of his sweet baby toes and also a pic of him sleeping so sweetly! Enjoy!

Back in black!

So a few weeks ago I got this hair brained idea to lighten my hair. I actually did this about two months ago probably. I have lived with this reddish brown color for as long as I can possibly stand it. I've always heard "once you go black, you never go back". Well when it comes to my hair, I can testify to it being true. I changed it back to black yesterday and feel so much more like myself. I don't know what I was thinking when I decided it needed to be lighter! I was born with really dark almost black hair. It lightens a little in the sun during summer but it has always been super dark. I'm glad to be back in black and back to normal. It feels better.

I've been making some changes around here. I've started doing the 30 Day Shred and I am seeing such a difference in how I feel and how my clothes fit. I've only been doing it two weeks and the difference is amazing. I also started The Fat Smash Diet. And although it isn't easy and I haven't been as dedicated to it as I have been to Jillian, I am learning some things and seeing big changes in my body. I put on shorts I haven't been able to wear in two years this week. It felt amazing. I have a pair of capris I haven't been able to wear since I got married and I want to fit back in them. I think I will be able to soon! I have a group of women cheering me on an encouraging me. It's the most amazing feeling to know I'm not alone and that I have amazing friends standing beside me along the way.

Things here are looking up. I got A serious wake up call on our trip. I really was able to see just how out of shape I am. I have a son that I want to be able to keep up with. I can't do that if I am this out of shape and over weight. So, I am more determined than ever. And any of you that know me, you know I will meet this goal I've set. I'm excited about it. 5 lbs down and several more to go, but I will get there.

weeks 9 & 10 of 52

Okay so I'm officially 2 weeks behind. I will be posting this weeks challenge pic later on in the week. I just have been super busy the last few weeks. We went to Yellowstone for Talent's first vacation. We were gone for 9 whole days. That's a long time for anyone, much less two new parents and a one year old. It was a great trip and we saw a lot of beautiful things. Check out my other blog My New Found Love to read all about it and to see a few pictures from our trip!

Week 9's challenge was sports, I would post a picture about the OKC Thunder but to be perfectly honest I'm SICK to death of hearing about everyone and their dog "Thundering Up"....so I've chosen to post my favorite picture of Talent in his OU gear from our session with Keelie. I'm ready for August, when there is not a Saturday in my house that the TV isn't on college football. I'm ready for fall when it's football fever and getting close to college basketball time. See in our house we watch pro football, but not much NBA. The NBA is so showy and they are really lacking some class. It takes the fun out of the game for us. Not that NFL isn't showy, it is, but you can still get into the sport, the NBA just doesn't have that feel. At least it doesn't for us. We live for college sports. So while we support our OKC Thunder, and I'm glad that an Oklahoma team has made it as far as they have, I'm ready for my college sports to start.

Week 10's challenge picture is supposed to be shoes. Well I'm going through all the possible pictures I could take of the shoes I own, wear, love.... and honestly, I can't figure out what I want to post. So I'm going to a picture of my favorite girls and our shoes....we are all barefoot in the picture with our shoes in front of us! But yeah, the shoes are in the picture! I'm posting this picture because while these girls were here we did this photoshoot with Ashley. We had such a fun time! I always tell my Mini's they need to wear cute shoes, they always argue....girls.....I swear! When I was their age, I wore the most ridiculous shoes! I swear I don't know how I walked without breaking my ankles! I am missing my Mini's and Leaoma so much. So here's one of my favorite picutes from our "Girls Only" shoot! And my Mini's don't even look the same now! Bethany graduated last week, I can't even believe she is going to college!