Well, I know I've been on a blogging kick this week between this blog and my other one! But I just felt the need to blog about this today. I usually blog about my baby and life as a mommy on my other blog but today I'd like to post on this blog about my life and just how wonderful it truly is.
This time last year I was way huge pregnant. My feet were swollen. My Daddy had to paint my toe nails because I was so big I couldn't reach them to paint them myself. I had kept them painted blue the entire time I was pregnant as a way to be "connected" to my best friend who lives 2 hours away. I was hoping for a baby boy so when I found out I was pregnant we promised to keep our toes painted blue as a way to "be connected" the entire pregnancy since she couldn't be here for all of it. I had Daddy paint them pink about this time last year because she found out she was pregnant (BIG SURPRISE!) and she already had two boys and wanted a girl. So, I had the same pact with her but we painted them pink. I can still remember him painting them and worrying he was messing them up. He did a great job.
I can still remember being able to feel Talent's little movements in my belly. I can remember his hiccups. I can remember feeling his heels dig in to my stomach when he would turn over in there. I can remember it all so vividly. I can also remember the night my water broke and this wonderful journey began. I was so scared of what this change would bring to my marriage. What this would bring to my life. Would I be a good Mom? Would I still be able to be the best wife possible? So many worries, so many thoughts going through my mind.
Well, I'm happy to say this today. I think that having Talent has been the biggest blessing to my marriage and my life. For my marriage it has been a huge thing. I had 22 hours of labor that led to a c-section. I threw up through out the entire 22 hours of labor. It was no fun. Seth held a bucket for me while I was sick in the operating room. He walked with Talent to the nursery while they finished stitching me up. He helped me with a shower the next day. He helped me when I had to get up and down out of bed. He helped me SO much. I don't know how I would have ever made it without him by my side. I know that the throwing up thing was gross and hard for him to stomach. If it wasn't for one of my best friends being in the delivery room with us, he probably wouldn't have done as well as he did. But he did come and hold my hand when I finally fell apart at the end. I was exhausted in those final hours. I wouldn't let him go anywhere. I wouldn't let him leave my side and I am not typically that clingy. When we got home he helped me as much as he could. He didn't complain that my family and friends were here so much. He was amazing and got up with me every time Talent woke up. And now that Talent is bigger, he still gets up and helps me sometimes. There are mornings when I haven't gotten any sleep and he will get up and feed him breakfast and let me get some sleep. He will watch him so I can have some "me time" and have a few minutes to breathe. This whole experience has changed our relationship. I always heard that it would and I worried it would be a bad thing. But it has been an amazing thing. Our relationship is so much stronger than I ever thought possible. I'm so glad.
As for how it has changed my life....
I think it has helped me to realize that I have some wonderful people in my life. Some that have helped me SO much since I had Talent. I have come to realize that I don't need tons of friends, it isn't quantity of friends, but quality. And I have realized this year that I have some of the highest quality friends ever. That hasn't always been the case. I have had a few friends over the last few years that I disconnected myself from. I have waivered back and forth on if that decision was the right one or not so many times. Now that I have Talent it's so easy for me to see that I made the right decision regarding those relationships.I've learned that there are no gray areas when it effects my child. I'm thankful now for the wonderful people that I've allowed to be a part of my life. I'm grateful to God for putting them there. And I'm glad that I have them to teach me how to be a better person and mom.
I love being a wife and a mom. I truly think that those two roles were what I was born to do. When I met my husband 9 years ago, I knew he was something very special. We will be married 7 years in May. Being his wife is one of the most amazing experiences of my life. In April when I became a mom, I knew then, something special had happened to my life. I had only felt that feeling when I got married.....that feeling of complete love and adoration for another human being. This time it was a little different because this time, Seth and I had made this little person. It is an amazing feeling becoming a parent. It changes your heart. Makes you a sap. My life became even more important. Being a wife and a mom is the best two things I've ever done. EVER. So tonight I'm just writing because I love my life. I have never been happier than I am right at this very second.
Talent & me
My sweet little family!