Love

So I don't like to be controversial, but, a friend of mine posted something on Facebook today that got me to thinking. He said that he didn't understand organized religion. He went on to say that he had been told that God hates "fags", loves babies, hates people that don't speak English, loves the troops & hates the troops, loves kittens, hates Obama, and so many other ridiculous things. He said he didn't understand how someone who hates so much was supposed to be about love. My friend has a pretty good point here.

You see in this messed up world we live in we are so quick to condemn the actions of others that we forget to stop and live how Christ wants us to live. He wanted us to love how he loves. Unconditionally. That's a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Especially for me. There are some people in this world that even I think don't deserve my love. Reading what my sweet friend wrote today makes me feel a little ashamed. What makes my love greater than the love of God? Absolutely nothing.

So starting today, I'm going to work on that. In not saying it is going to be easy. Believe me, it won't be. But, I am going to try.

My friend today is one of the kindest people I know. And I'm sure that he has felt the wrath of judgemental Christians. He does not deserve it if he has. I hope he knows in his heart that not all Christians are like the ones you see blasting off at the mouth on tv. There are good ones out there. And I hope that he knows that even Christians make mistakes. We are human after all.

Guys and gals, be careful how you act. You can lose your ability to reach people by spouting off at the mouth. Talking all this judgement when it's God's place to judge not ours. So keep that in mind.

Such a journey....

So my last post was about me starting to go to a Bible study group. I went for several weeks and though I LOVED the material, I didn't feel welcome at the actual church. I felt like I just didn't belong. After several weeks of going they still all kept to themselves and sat in their usual groups. It was just awkward. I have anxiety about new places and faces as it is and this was just more than I could handle. So I quit going. However, I have continued doing the study on my own. My BFF, Shawna, recently decided she wanted to do it with me so I'm starting at the very beginning with her.

It has been eye opening doing this study. I've learned things about myself and about God that I just wasn't aware of before. Either I wasn't listening or I had it stored somewhere in my heart and wasn't letting it out. Regardless, I'm learning. I feel the Spirit moving in me. There's a peace and a joy I can't quite describe.

I used to be a person who didn't shy away from cussing. It was something that just came out of my mouth before I could stop it most of the time. Since starting this journey, I have stopped saying those words. There are occasional slips but they are very few and far between. I find myself actively searching for better words and for nicer things to say.

I've even started reading other devotionals and things aside from this study and one of them is a marriage devotional. I love my marriage. I love my husband. But let's be honest, no one has a perfect marriage. Mine is great. But it couldn't hurt to pray for it. To actively try to change some things within my own attitude to make the marriage even better. Could it? So I have been working on that. Some days are a struggle and some days it's as natural as breathing. But I am glad I'm making the effort to do it.

If you are interested in doing a Bible study, the one I am doing is free to download and is really amazing. You can download the stuff at www.soarwithgod.com and if you want other devotional type things to read, go check out the Proverbs 31 Ministries. I just googled that and it pulled up their site. They have tons of bloggers and devotionals. It's a great site.

I am excited about this journey. I am excited to be listening to Christian music again. It's a great feeling. I'm looking forward to learning more.

Lesson in Living...

So for some time now I've been a part of a marriage prayer group. We don't technically get together, yet we do. Once a week we all receive an email devotional in our inbox full of wonderful ways to pray for our spouses. Different ways to pray for our marriages. I have LOVED being a part of this group. It has sparked something in me that I've been longing for for quite some time. 

I've gone to church my whole life. I've heard all of the Bible stories and verses. I have sung all the hymns. Heck, I've even been saved and baptized. I've always believed with my whole heart that there was a God. That I lived to serve something so much greater than myself. However, I've never been able to get the hang of actually reading the "road map" he gave us to read. I have heard my brother and his wife speak of reading daily. I've heard friends talk about daily Bible readings that they missed when they didn't do. I never understood it. 

This week a friend of mine on facebook posted a request for someone to go to a Bible study with her. She's a girl I've known for basically most of my life. We have never been close or anything. She's just someone I grew up with. She married a guy I went to school with and was pretty good friends with. I always thought she was really sweet. So I responded. I've been wanting to get into a Bible study and really start out with this chapter of my life in the right way. Sure, I could have just studied on my own. I could have gone online and found a study to follow along with....but, this is a way for me to fellowship with other Christian women. Today I went and met my friend for this Bible study and I can't seem to put it down. I'm excited about it. 

Seth asked me the other night why I was getting into "all this Bible study stuff" lately. To be honest, it's for many reasons. First, I want to learn. Second, my son is going to start asking questions someday and I want him to be able to ask me and me actually have the answers. I don't want him to have to go to someone else for his questions about the Bible. I want to teach him and I can't do that if I don't learn more. And last, I feel it, deep down, that this is just where my heart wants to be. 

I'm very excited about this Bible study. I will be going once a week every week. I'm excited to get to know the women in my group. I'm excited to see where this takes me. 

8 years.

Well today is a hard day for me. It comes around every single year and though it gets easier with time it's still tough. I deal silently and try not to make a big deal of it.

Eight years ago today I lost my Pawpaw Bazil. It was the first loss of this magnitude for me. I'd lost people I loved before but never a person I'd known since birth. Never someone I was close to. I still remember his slow speech, his laugh, and those beautiful baby blues. He was a vary sweet and loving man. Kind to all around him and always telling jokes. He loved to tease my mom about her ability to burn a biscuit. He loved chocolate covered cherries and every year I get a box and eat them just to remember him.

His funeral was a fireman's funeral. They took him out on the truck that he built. They played the sirens as we went. To this day the sound of a fire truck pierces my heart in a way I just can't explain. They did a last call on the radio for him. I will never forget that day or that experience. A fireman's funeral is a beautiful thing but terribly emotional.

I miss my Pawpaw Bazil every single day. And while each year does get a little easier, when this day rolls around, my heart aches. I long to hear one of his rambling stories. Hear him joke about my Momma burning biscuits. Anything. Just to have one more day.

I love you, Pawpaw Bazil.

Adventures in Deception!

So this year for Christmas, my BFF bought me two cookbooks (along with way too much other cool stuff) that I am beyond excited about. One of the cookbooks is called "The Everything Allergy Cookbook" and has been a great source of information for me about food allergies. For those unaware, Talent has some pretty serious food allergies and I'm learning to work around them to prepare healthy food for him at home. And also to known what is healthy for him and safe when we go out. The other cookbook is called "Deceptively Delicious". It's a cookbook that teaches you how to make favorite foods a little healthier by hiding fruits and veggies in them. There's a recipe in the book for ketchup and it has carrots in it.

I didn't exactly want the second cookbook to trick my child, although as he gets bigger it will come in handy. I wanted this to trick my husband. He isn't much on eating veggies or fruit. But, if it is in his food and he doesn't know it.....well he has no complaints. So today, operation deception starts.

My husband is a meat & potatoes man. He likes mashed potatoes with every single meal and he always wants steak, round steak, beef, beef, chicken, & beef. Have I mentioned he likes beef? Well this makes it a little hard to make things healthy and also hard to get a little variety in our meals. This cookbook may have just inspired me.

After reading through the cookbook twice, I decided to start with the mashed potato recipe. I figure I make mashed potatoes almost every single night anyway so why not start there. So tonight we will be having cauliflower mashed potatoes.

Yes, I am aware that there are members of my family reading this and thinking to themselves that they will never again eat my cooking. But, before you cast your judgement, hear me out. If we don't know it's in there, if we can't taste it, what does it hurt? It might make us a little healthier. Might help fend off a cold, improve our eyesight, or even help us get back to that girlish figure we've been agonizing over. If I can hide healthy things in food my husband already eats, I'm going to. It isn't going to hurt him and it might ensure that he never has trouble with his health. I want him healthy. Not just for me, for Talent too.

So, all of that being said, we will be trying cauliflower mashed potatoes tonight. And I will update everyone with how this goes and also with other food sneaks I attempt. I'm hoping this works and that he is able to get some nutritious food into his system. Meat and potatoes isn't terrible....but it's not exactly wonderful for your arteries! So here's hoping this works and we are able to kick off 2013 in a healthier way. Even if I am doing so in a very deceiving way!