Eight Years Ago...

Eight years ago today I put on the most beautiful dress I have ever worn, had my hair and make up done perfectly, and prepared to make a promise to a man to love him until the day that I died. Eight years ago today, I was full of jitters. I was nervous and excited. I couldn't wait to see that handsome man I loved so much, standing at the other end of that aisle. I couldn't wait to marry this man and start our lives together. I had loved many people in my life, but, I had never loved someone in the way that I loved this man. Eight years in and I still get that jittery feeling in the pit of my stomach when I see him. I still get that excited feeling when I know I'm going to get to see him when I get home, or when I know we are going to have a date night. Just knowing I get to spend my life with him.....it's a feeling that I can't even explain.

I have never loved someone in the way that I love Seth. We just really work well together. He is my strong, safe place whenever this crazy world is too much for me to handle. I know that no matter what, I always have him. When things seem to be spinning out of control, just hearing his voice is enough to help me feel calm again. Seth makes me laugh, keeps me on my toes, and balances me out. I'm so thankful to have him.

You know, eight years ago, the love I had for Seth was very deep. After Talent was born, that love that I thought was so deep, grew even deeper. Seeing this man that I already loved so very much, look at this child we had just had, with a face full of pride, it just made me love him even more. To see my husband and his love for our child, it changed our relationship for the better. And honestly, I never thought that was possible. But our love grew even more when we had Talent. Just having his support and love throughout my labor & C-section, and then seeing him the first time he held Talent....wow. Our love has changed so much.

So, for now, I would like to say, I love my husband. I'm thankful for the last 8 years of marriage we have had. I thank God every single day that he brought us together. My life has been richly blessed by having Seth in it. I've never been so happy in my life.

A GREAT week!

This week has been hectic to say the very least! Seth's best friend, Michael, has been here since Saturday. He's in the Marines and only gets to come home a few times a year. When he is here I don't see much of the guys because he and Seth tend to spend a LOT of time out at Bailey fishing, hunting, shooting random things, and just being guys. They have SO much fun when they are together. I see them when the are hungry. I love it because it gives me a reason to be in my kitchen.

This time when they went out for the first time I made sure to make a pan of brownies, grill steaks, make mashed potatoes, green beans, and Texas Toast, so that when they got home from fishing all day they would be met with all kinds of yumminess. If you can't already tell, they are just a tiny bit spoiled. I have cooked SO many things this week. I've made steak, chicken, BBQ sandwiches, and we even ordered pizza one night. We've had a great week together.

Tonight Michael called and asked if we wanted to come over to his parents house and eat steaks with him. We went and he grilled steak, I took mashed potatoes, he made us mac & cheese, and baked beans. It was a great meal. He even baked chocolate chip cookies for dessert. I was very impressed. It was so nice to have someone else make dinner tonight and me have the night off. That doesn't happen often for me and when it does, I really appreciate it.

We have really had a great week. The guys have had fun out at Bailey catching fish. I have cooked so much and really gotten a good use out of my new dishwasher. Talent has had a chance to get to know Michael a little better. It's been a good week for everyone!

Now I just have to start all over because I have family in from Texas that will be here until Monday! HA! The fun just never ends! At least I have a jump start on that. I was asked to make a cheesecake for the family that were coming in. So I baked a Brownie Caramel Cheesecake. I can't wait to try it. It smells so good and looks even better than it smells!

Begging Daddy to go exploring!

Talent wanted Michael to have babies to cuddle with but didn't want to get too close!

Seth & his fish.... 7lbs 11oz

 

Mommy & Talent....such a happy boy!

Brownie Caramel Cheesecake!

 

Watching the birds on the patio at Michael's!

Exploring with Daddy!

Guy talk!

Enjoying the weather before the storm...

Mommy & Talent.

I love this baby!

18 years...

18 years ago today I was a 12 year old girl who had just gotten home from church. The week had already been a very long one for everyone in the state of Oklahoma. We'd been struck by a tragedy. The Oklahoma City bombing had just happened a few days before. We were all still reeling from all of the emotions of the bombing. They were still showing images of it on the news. It was a lot to see for a 12 year old. Granted I was getting close to being 13, my birthday was only a few months away, I was still just a kid.

I was a typical teenage girl who liked to talk on the phone. My parents had gotten me my own phone line because they were tired of sharing theirs and getting run over anytime the phone rang. I remember walking into my room and seeing the answering machine flashing like crazy. I was used to having messages but this seemed a little off. I pressed play and listened. I will never forget what I heard next. "Denisa, it's Rachel. David Baker is dead. Call me. I'm serious, he's dead. So is...." and she finished her message and there were a dozen more just like that. I sat there for a minute listening to the messages and then I remembered seeing the smoke as we drove in from Lawton and thinking it was just a fire somewhere. I picked up the phone and called my friend and she told me what she knew. I was so overwhelmed. I remember that my parents tried to comfort me. Then I remember they called my cousin who had had friends pass away and a cousin pass away and they let him sit with me and talk to me. After he left I remember crying for a long time. I had gone to school with these boys for pretty much my entire school life. Twice in one week, I was hit very hard by something so big that my young mind was having a hard time wrapping itself around the thought.

The days that followed were a blur. I didn't go to the funerals. I didn't think I was strong enough to. Looking back, I think I probably made the right decision in not going. I think I was pretty young and it was so much for me to handle in one week. After the bombing, three funerals would have just been too much.

Every year when this date rolls around, I'm taken back to that day. I remember the sounds and emotions and everything about it. I remember that my friend, David, loved playing the song from the Lion King on his saxophone and he was really excited when we got the sheet music for it for our Spring Concert. I still think of him every time I hear "Just Can't Wait to be King".... Some things just never leave.

So, today I'm thinking about those friends and the families that are missing them still.

Scary World

This week there was a bombing at the Boston Marathon. They had three deaths and many, many injuries. Today they located the suspects. One was killed, the other fled and was captured late this evening. It has been a very long and scary five days for Boston and all of the residents there. I have a childhood friend who lives there and I know it has been an emotional week for her.

I'm not writing tonight to say how outraged I am at the stupidity and selfishness of people in this world that do things like this. Although, I wonder what is wrong with these idiots. I wonder what makes such young people want to throw their lives away. I wonder how our government gets SO close to them and lets the walk. But all of that aside, I'm writing because tonight while reading my Bible I ran across something that I think God intended for me to see. I question this world and all of the evil things that I see daily. I wonder about people. And I think tonight, God knew that and was trying to tell me, "Hey, I got this. Remember who I am."

The wicked plotteth against the just, and gnasheth upon him with his teeth. (13) The Lord shall laugh at him: for he seeth that his day is coming. Psalm 37:12,13

To me, this verse says, yes there is evil. Yes, they are out there doing terrible things to innocent people. But, HE knows what is going to happen to them in the end.

I hope that this brings some kind of comfort to someone else. I know it did me.

Miracle....

So everyone knows by now that I'm not originally from the country. I grew up in town....in the middle of the "city lights" and all the noise and hustle of the city. When I met and fell in love with this man I'm married to, he was a small town guy who liked being in the country. He likes quiet. He doesn't like he hustle and bustle of the city life that I was so accustomed to. So, we bought a house that he LOVED (it was his grandparents) in the country and that's where we live. He always talked about getting cattle and raising cows. I've always supported anything he has ever wanted to do, with the exception of moving to Alaska! So, we have cows. He bought 3 bred pairs and one pregnant Left Eye (my cow). Basically what that means is he bought 3 cows that had a calf nursing and were supposed to be pregnant with another. Can you tell I've learned the language? Yeah, you pick it up quickly when you are out here.

We came home a few weeks ago and found that we had a new calf. I was really excited because that meant that the others would be soon to follow. I LOVE having new babies around here. They are SO fun to watch. They jump around and are so funny. They are clumsy and so feisty! So, I was excited when this new baby was born! We tagged it the first day it was here. I named him, Tiny Dancer. I just call him "Tiny" for short. He is really cute and so sweet. When he was born I was able to touch him. That was an exciting day for us. Talent got to ride out in the pasture with us to see him. I love that he's getting these experiences.

Well today, Seth came in the house while I was trying to get a toddler calmed down and get a pizza in the oven. He said, "We are getting ready to have a calf" and I looked at him confused. I asked how he knew that and he told me he had just watched her water break. Now, I'm not a cow expert. But I have given birth before. So when I hear "her water just broke" I know that things are serious. So I put on flip flops and pull my sweats up a little so I don't get poo on them. I went out to the pasture to take a look at this cow. She has stuff hanging out of her. So yes, my husband was right. We were about to have a new baby! I went about doing what I was doing and then went into the bathroom. I noticed that the cow had moved up by the gate and laid down. Suddenly she shot to her feet and took off. I ran and got Seth. I told him to go check on her. He came back in and told me that she was getting ready to have it. I asked if I could go watch. I have never seen anything born before. My own child was taken by C-section and they had a curtain up so I saw nothing.

I went out to the driveway and saw this cow sitting on the ground in the pasture. I could see the bag hanging partially out of her. I could also see that she was contracting. I know she was hurting. What I saw next touched my heart. Her other calf, Lola, was standing over her, rubbing her head with her nose. It looked like Lola was trying to comfort her Momma. It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen between two cows. I stood and watched for a while.

For those of you that know me, I've named all of these cows. This Momma has a name too. She's nuts. So I've named her Psycho Sally. Psycho Sally struggled for a while. We ended up going in for a little while and ate dinner. I came back out in time to see little feet sticking out. Then Seth came out and I saw the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I saw Sally stand up and this calf come out of her. I've never seen anything like it in my life. It was beautiful. As soon as it was out she started cleaning it up. One of the other cows came over to help her. They worked on it to clean it up. For the first little bit I was afraid it wasn't alive. It didn't move at all. Then I started seeing it's little tail twitch. Then it's ears started to move. Then I heard it's first breaths. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed. Never in my life would I have thought I would think something like this was so beautiful. But it was. To see the things God is capable of. To witness that first hand. It was an experience I was so very glad I was able to have.

After the calf was out I went in and got Talent. I told him we had a new baby and asked him if he wanted to go see it. He clapped his hands and said "Yay". We went outside and saw the new baby. He kept putting his hands on my face and turning my face to the new calf and saying, "Momma!" He thought it was pretty neat. He would moo at the cows and clap. I know he doesn't completely understand what happened today. But, I'm so glad that he will have these experiences. I never had these kinds of experiences growing up. And while I don't think it hurt me growing up, I think it will be good for Talent. I think seeing the beauty and wonder of a birth like this is a good way for Talent to see God's creations. I know today, for me, it was a great thing. I know it was a cow. I know that most people might think I'm crazy for thinking this was just such a beautiful thing, but it was. I even got to share it with my Momma. She showed up not too long after it was born. She got to see it brand new. She's not country at all so this was a neat thing for her to see too.