Reunited...

Three years ago I decided I had to walk away from a friendship that I had been in for almost 10 years. At the time it was not a healthy relationship for either of us. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. From the day I decided to walk away from the relationship, I regretted it. I hurt, I longed for that relationship. I missed my friend more than I could put into words. But, at the time, I just didn't have the strength and the energy to put into it anymore.

She was going through something that I just couldn't understand. Something that she never really shared fully with me. I was pregnant and had all kinds of hormones going through my body. I ended up getting my heart hurt and decided I'd had enough. I'm not placing blame on her. Lord knows that I could have handled things in a MUCH better way. I chose not to. But, things in this relationship were complicated. When things were good, they were good. But when they were bad, boy were they ever bad.

After three years of being without this person in my life, I heard that she was pregnant. She had gotten divorced and remarried. Her sister was in the hair salon at the same time as me one day. She started talking about the pregnancy and I couldn't help but want to reach out. You see, the last time my friend was pregnant, she had all kinds of issues once the baby was born. He was born with a hole in his back, he had some form or Spina Bifida, and a tethered spine. He has had many surgeries and may still have to have more. So, I knew that with another pregnancy she was probably terrified.

A few days after seeing her sister, I decided I couldn't hold out any longer. I took the step to reach out. I messaged her on facebook and apologized. Admitting when I am wrong is something I'm happy to do. It's never easy, but I can do it. I apologized, she apologized, and we decided that we wanted to try and start our friendship over fresh. We've had three years and a lot of growth between us. We have both changed quite a bit. We have talked off and on over the last 4 weeks and I have to say, it makes my heart happy.

Julie and I had lunch a week ago. It's the first time we have seen each other face to face in three years. We both broke out in the biggest grin when we saw each other. There were big hugs and a lot of laughs. Honestly, it was like nothing ever happened. Three years apart and we were able to pick back up where we left off. I am so glad that I decided to take that step and email her. I needed her back in my life. I didn't realize just how much I had missed her until I saw her again.

Sometimes we close a door thinking we are done. How wrong I was. I thought that friendship was something I couldn't mend. Turns out, we just needed some time to heal and be apart. I'm so thankful that we are able to come back together and mend this friendship. She and I have always had such a close friendship. Not having it has been heavy on my heart since I let it go. Having it back feels right to me. I'm thankful for forgiveness. I'm thankful for second chances. I'm thankful for friendship.

Choice.

I've written about this before, but, I'm going to write about it again. Lately my Facebook feed has been flooded with all kinds of anti-abortion videos and links. Let me start with this. I am a mother. I love my child with every fiber of my being. If I lost him tomorrow I don't think I could ever function normally again. I am not a hater of children. I think adoption is a beautiful thing. I really do. 

Now, with all of that said, people are getting to a point where they think abortion is just so black & white. You are either pro-life or pro-choice. I recently read an article that referred to pro-choice as "pro-murder". Well, I for one am deeply offended and here is why. 

How many women and young girls in this country have babies every day? Millions. How many of them are because of rape and incest? Probably more than you care to know. Many women are too scared to come forward when they have been raped or abused so we probably don't have accurate data if you want to know the truth. The problem with this abortion argument is that people see that you are either for or against. They don't see this gray area here. But it's there and it needs to be recognized. 

Women who have become pregnant by rape or incest have already suffered so much damage psychologically. Many turn to drugs and alcohol for comfort. Some take their lives because the emotions and shame they feel is just too much for them to bear. Others move on to other abusive relationships. Then there are the few that actually make it out on the other side and realize that they can make a better life. Whatever happened can stick with them for years. After all someone took a piece of them without permission. 

What bothers me is that I see my "Christian" friends posting all of the anti-abortion messages and videos. I get that you don't like the thought of murderig babies. I get it. I don't like it either. But, do you like the thought of a man holding a women down and forcing himself on her? What about two men? Now, tell me that if that results in pregnancy that she should carry that baby. Tell me your reasons why she should be put through even more hell than she's already been put through. Tell me. I'd really be curious to hear. I don't think God ever intended that to happen. The God I serve is a loving God. To me, this does not seem loving. 

If you want my opinion on the matter, which you're going to get anyway. I think women with loose morals who sleep around and don't use protection should not be allowed to have an abortion. They made the choice to have sex. But these women who had their rights stripped when they were raped, in my opinion, they do NOT deserve to have another thing taken away from them. They already have nightmares. They are already afraid of men in general. They are already nervous and scared of most things. They are so fragile and scarred because of the past that they lived through. Why take away the right to choose what happens to their body? And unless you have been raped, you can't say you would be able to carry that child. I'm betting you wouldn't. Most women wouldn't. 

So I'm asking you, please, stop being so narrow minded. This isn't a black and white issue. Look at the very large gray area. Look at the life in front of you that has been so deeply effected. Don't just look at the life that hasn't even been fully developed. 

In closing, I hope you realize, I do love a rape victim. I know that her life has changed the way that I view this argument in a very big way. I know how hard she struggles with the past. I have stayed up many nights with her on the phone because she was too scared to go to bed. I have listened on one end of the phone as she cried because she was overwhelmed by the nightmares. I have hugged her as she shook because her nerves were shot. And I've been scared many times that she would fall into a state of depression that I wouldn't be able to help her out of. I've prayed with her. I've prayed for her. All I'm asking is that when you go about spouting off all of your hatefulness about abortion, you think about those that were put in a situation not of their own making. That gray area is awfully big. And it deserves just as much attention as both sides of the argument do. 

And just for the record, I'm pro-choice. Only because, I would never want a rape victim to be forced to carry a child to term after going through all they have already gone through. It just isn't right. As a woman, as a friend of a rape victim, I know how much it could damage a person. I think we owe those women more than that. 

Change your oil!

Okay, so some of you have probably already seen my posts on facebook about Young Living Essential Oils. I have used one particular oil for a little over a year to help relieve jaw pain I've been having. I was at my wits end when I decided to give the oils a go. A friend of mine had some and let me take it and use it for a week. I ended up buying the bottle. I used it and found that within 5 minutes of applying it I could feel my jaw ease up. I never expected to feel anything at all with the oils, but, I did. I bought one or two other oils and decided to give them a go.

I started using them more on myself and Talent a few months back. The oil I was using for my jaw had many other benefits. Sleep was one of the greatest benefits I found. Talent and I started using it at night. We both started sleeping more peacefully. One of the other oils I was using was for immunity. I haven't been really sick, more than sniffles anyway, in a very long time. Talent hasn't been to the doctor for being sick in so long I can't even remember the last time I took him for an illness. We aren't hibernating and staying away from germs. We are out, at the store, visiting friends, and running errands every week. Even now, when I know there are things going around, we are both well.

So, if you have ever used essential oils, I would like to challenge you to give Young Living a try. I became a distributor in December. I have already touched more lives with the oils than I ever imagined I would. In the last few weeks I have been sharing my own oils experience with my friends and family. There is no denying the improvements I am seeing on myself and on Talent. In just two weeks, using the oil called Purification, I have been able to almost completely get rid of his eczema. His knees were cracked, red, dry, and bleeding. Now, they are just a little scaly, not red, and not bleeding at all. He begs for the oil. He will come and tell me to put his oils on him because they feel good.

I never in a million years would have expected to be using essential oils in place of medications. But, I'm doing it. It's making a difference in my house, the way I clean, the way we all feel, and the way I look at treating illness in my household.

If you are interested in joining Young Living or buying Young Living, I would love to visit with you. I have seen such great things, I know you will too.

Welcome to 2014!!!

The year 2013 was a busy one. Looking back on the year past, I can't say anything negative about it. I was allowed to start not one, but TWO, home based businesses. We've added new cows to our little herd and we've also said goodbye to a few. Talent has finally started talking, although he still sometimes needs me to interpret. Seth's best friend moved home in August to stay for three years. And I went to my very first (and I promise it won't be my last!) New Kids on the Block concert. Things have been great. But, I'm looking forward to the changes that are sure to come with the next year.

In 2013 I started two home based businesses. In June, I started my way to being a home business owner by becoming a Rodan + Fields Consultant. This is a business that honestly takes more work than I've put out. I can be honest about that. To me this business has been a little intimidating. I can do retail, I've done retail for years. But, direct sales is a little different. You have to chase people for a sale and that has never been my style, even when I worked retail so many years ago. But, I'm going to try and work harder at it this year. Try to make a few changes in my approach this year and see if I can't make this business more successful than it already has been.

In December, I joined Young Living Essential Oils. I have some pretty severe jaw pain and had been using one of the oils for almost a year to help with the pain. I came to the oils in a last ditch effort for relief when doctors, dentists, and medicines weren't doing what I needed. The oil, Valor, was a miracle worker for me. Within 10 minutes of applying it, I could physically feel my jaw ease up. The pain would ease, I would stop hurting. I was in awe of the power in this tiny bottle. I took time to research, read about different oils for different things, and even ordered a few others to try. In the end, I decided that it was not worth it to NOT join. So, I jumped in head first. I bought the biggest starter kit they had to offer and said, "Let's do this!"  So, here I am now, two home based businesses, and two wonderful products that I feel very passionate about.

Now that the new year is here, I am hoping to make some wonderful changes to our home. Make healthier choices for my family, read more, slow down and listen more, be a better wife, mother, and friend. I don't have one big New Year's Resolution. I feel like you set yourself up for failure when making those. Everyone makes a big deal of losing weight, or not drinking soda, or no more meat....yada yada yada.....and in 3 months that's all out the window. I feel like the things I want to do are things I typically do anyway. I can always use improvement in all of these areas. So why not try harder? So, there's my 2013/2014 post. I hope everyone is off to a great start in the new year!

Love is....

When you first start dating someone it's all butterflies and sweetness. When you first get married you have the honeymoon phase where you are just so excited to be in love and happily married to this person. Then come the kids and everything changes. 

This parenting thing changes so much. It isn't a bad thing, it just changes so much. You talk about this little life that you both created. You talk about what things they do every day, the new things they learn, the victories, tantrums, and everything in between. 

We once texted about how we missed each other and how we loved each other. While we still do that our texts now have some hilarity to them that they lacked before. Now we talk about pooping in the potty and the victory celebration that took place in the bathroom after such a big moment for Talent. We also talk about all of the silly things Talent says through the day. Some things we just can't help but laugh. 

I try to always remember those times when we dated. Those moments during our honeymoon phase. I try to make sure and remind my husband that even though we are now parents, he still gives me butterflies every time I see his beautiful face. We have a chalkboard door in our kitchen and I write sweet messages to him on it when I can. Today I wrote him a message letting him know he is loved and that I'm proud to have him as my husband and the Dad to our sweet boy. I have always tried to make sure he knows he is important to me. I never wanted him to feel like he took a backseat once I became a mom. I hope I always remember to do that.